


Awakening

by QueenMissFit



Category: Alice: Madness Returns, American McGee's Alice
Genre: F/M, Genderbend, Genderbending, Literature, Romance, Yandere, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-07-26 23:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7594882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenMissFit/pseuds/QueenMissFit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>From Alice Madness Returns.<br/></p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> From Alice Madness Returns.  
> 

It’s cold in here, awaiting my fate in the dimly lit cell I’ve been put in, where I’m currently sat in the middle of the small room. The cell walls are made of red splattered clay with cogs and whirring brass parts turning, writhing and spilling out more of the same red liquid spread on the walls. It smells horrible in here. Like death.

I don’t know why I’m here, I just remember being at the Doctor’s. Doctor Bumby.

He seemed like a good man but… now I’m not so sure.

The medicine. . .

It makes me feel sick; worse.

And the hypnotherapy. . .

I can’t remember what I do in that time but I feel wrong afterwards, I feel lost and confused.

The door opens, a young man appearing in the doorway of my cell, illuminated in the soft light of a nearby candles outside the cell. He has short, raven black hair framing his face with pale skin and vibrant green eyes. He’s tall and slim, a dark figure in a midnight blue vest, pristine white shirt and formal charcoal grey coloured pantaloons with stripes, accompanied by knee-high black boots with four silver buckles.

He smirks, “Y/N, it has been too long.”

“Who are you?”

His face drops into a frown before his harsh green eyes narrow, “Oh, Y/N, you silly girl, you know who I am. We were friends after the fire. . .” He trails off, softening his gaze slightly.

He seems familiar but I don’t know anything past. . .”Bumby, I don’t know you but do you know him?”

“What? Dr. Bumby? Of all people that Scottish louse is behind this!” He breathes heavily, his dark blue clothed chest heaving, the silver buckle bobbing with the movements.

I don’t know him and I feel safer for not knowing him.

“Oh well, Y/N, you sweet girl, you’re safe now and he’s gone. Don’t you see? We can be together now!” He claps his gloved hands before offering me his left.

“Together?” I don’t understand. Who is he?

“Y/N, I’m Alex. Alex Liddell. From the asylum. From the orphanage. Even if you don’t remember me now, you will.”

I take his offered hand in mine, using his standing position to leverage myself up. I stumble, my feet slipping on a liquid I haven’t seen. I fall forwards.

He chuckles, “Falling into my arms once again? My dear you are making this a habit.”

He’s . . . different. Mad. Insane.

“Oh well, Y/N, welcome to a new age. Welcome to Wonderland, our new home.”


	2. Chapter 1

“What do you mean? Our new home. I don’t know you at all. And I would be most grateful if you let go of me.” 

He smirked, a hand leaving my waist to run through his hair.

“Well, this will be fun. Let me tell you how we’re so,” he moves his face close to mine, a breath away before whispering, “close.”

He leans back and walks out of the door into a long corridor, I follow after shortly, closing the cell door behind me. He begins to walk forwards, whilst I continue to follow him. We walk in silence, passing more cells decorated with the same metallic red liquid streaked down each door engraved with roman numerals and other symbols that I vaguely recognise but cannot interpret.

How curious.

We approached the end of the hallway, reaching a spiral staircase. The stairs were cogs jammed unevenly into the wall with no banister to attach them together.

Alex sat upon the last step, patting the space on his right. “Sit down, I will tell you how we know each other, dearest.”

“I would rather stand, thank you.”

He shrugged, and moved his hand to his lap and began to fiddle with the cuff of his sleeve. “It was years ago, when I was first taken to Rutledge Asylum. I can’t remember how old I was neither can I can remember how old you were. You were there because of your father. I’d rather spare you the gory details of your past. Most likely you will remember all of this soon enough.”

“Unlikely. I don’t know you and I think you are lying to me, sir.”

He began to laugh, his laugh bitter and dark. He lowered his head, his shoulders quaking as he pushed himself off of the step. 

“Dearest, you have no idea what you are talking about because I am the LAST PERSON TO EVER LIE TO YOU.” As he raised his voice he walked closer to me, grabbing me by the arms.

Silence fills the hallway as he lets go.

"Dearest, if you'll follow me upstairs to someplace more comfortable, I can tell you our story. Without interruptions this time please." He turns away from me and walks up the staircase whilst I remain frozen in place and watch as he heads up the long staircase and out through a door, the door slowly closing behind him.

Thank the Lord he has left me down here.

Now I can escape this madman.

For good.


	3. Chapter Two

_In another world, we would not of needed this one. This world of darkness, death and gore. Oh, my sweet angel, you are the only light in this darkness. A darkness I created to protect you from the darkness of the other world. Wonderland is filled with anything but it's name sake because it captures my mind._

_It's been so long since you've been by my side. To tease me by defying me... Is almost unforgivable._

_Of course I can see you. Y/N L/N, you are still the same girl I grew up with who stole food for the other poor children, who smiled whilst crying, who did her best to keep out of the whorehouses that that villain Dr Bumby visited. The bumbling idiot. Well, he did see you as the innocent flower you are but did not realise the full potential of your existence._

_The day we met was the happiest day of my life. You had entered Dr Bumby's office because you were confused about the time of your appointment. Cloaked in a canary yellow dress, you were stunning. A contrast to my constant black. The light to my darkness._

_Ah yes, I will always find you. No matter where you are. I will find you because you belong to me._  
"Good Lord how many sets of stairs are there?"

The walls were the same brickwork over and over with the occasional cog poking out of the wall. And...

_Is that blood?_

There were no signs of people, nod doors, no stairs. It's a never ending corridor. I'm going to be trapped here in this... This... Madhouse forever.

I sigh and then sit down, "What's the point in running, I don't know where I am and I don't know why I'm here. How in God's name can I fight or run?"

_There's no use, I'm going to die in here or... whatever that guy wants. I'm so lost. Why isn't there anyone to help m-_

"Hello."

Turning my head around hastily, I see a... Cat?

It's scrawny, with matted grey and black striped fur. A gold ring is pierced through it's left ear. It's bones are poking through but the most ominous parts of the cat are the eyes; wide and dark with no glimmer of light but also the grin. The wide stretch of a mouth showing the dark gums and the white teeth; sharp, pointed and large. Blood stained some of the teeth and...

_Oh God, is that flesh?_

I only then realised I had not replied, "Hello."

The cat's grin grew wider, "So, I see you are lost. Would you like some help out of here?"

"Yes please."

"Alright, Miss..."

"Oh, how rude of me. I am Y/N L/N. And you are?"

"I am the Cheshire Cat," He introduced himself, "The way out is easier than you can see."

_That makes no sense._

"Touch the wall on the right side of the cogs next to you."

I stand up, turning to face the wall. Raising a hand to where the Cheshire Cat had directed, I looked back.

"Why are you helping me?"

His grin shrunk before returning to it's usual size after a moment's thought, "Because the man you are running away from thinks he owns me. This will annoy him more than anything. Also, we've met before."

"We have?" I question, trying to recall where I could of seen this oddly shaped cat.

"Of course, why would I lie?"

_He's got a point._

"Now, press your hand into the wall."

Doing so, expecting the hard surface of the wall, I was met with thin air.

"What?" I muttered.

Putting more pressure onto the 'wall' I saw more of my hand and arm slip through.

I turn back to where the cat hovered behind me, "What's happening?"

But he had disappeared.

_How very curious._

"Well here goes nothing." I mutter.

Walking into the wall, I close my eyes, still expecting to hit my head against the bricks.

Feeling something creeping over my skin, I hurriedly walk through the 'wall'.

_It's as if cobwebs are being dragged over my skin._

When I opened my eyes, I had to gasp in horror.

The world is colourful, filled with blues, pinks and greens. All around are statues placed haphazardly along the edges of the cliff face. Gushing water flows in the distance. The ground is soft beneath my bare feet and it's then that I realise that I've changed clothes. Now I am wearing a pale mint green dress that stops at my knees. But I couldn't care less.

_It's so serene. Am I even in the same place?_

"So, how are you enjoying Wonderland?"

I turn around and behind me hovering once more is the Cheshire Cat, "It's so peaceful here. I don't want to leave. Also, Wonderland?"

"Yes, the place you're in is called Wonderland. But be careful, this world is not as wonderful as it seems."

"How bad can it be?"

"See for yourself. Not in this part of Wonderland but near the Red Queen's territory is the exit you are looking for. Take care Y/N." As he says his final words, he begins to disappear into thin air.

 _How bad can it be? It's so beautiful._  
Elsewhere, Alexander was smirking as he watched Y/N wander the beautiful part of Wonderland.

_Oh, Y/N, you're going to be trapped by beauty that in no way compares to your own. Enjoy it while you can._


	4. Chapter 3

"THIS IS GREAT!" I screamed, revelling in the atmosphere. It was so warm yet the ground under her was cool just like the water nearby. I was so close to the river. _I just needed to find a way down this cliff..._

**CRASH**

_What was that?_

Beneath me the ground had begun to shake as the cliff changed, revealing a row of cards dug into the side.

_That was...convenient._

Shrugging I slowly step down towards the river but what I see isn't as beautiful as the other place.

There are dozens of bodies littering a pool in front of a statue of a crying woman.  
 _So, you’ve found it. Well, I guess I’ve broken the illusion. She won’t want to stay on her own accord after seeing that._

_She was always rather sensitive. I guess it’s part of the reason why I’ve always found her so tantalising._

_Maybe the bodies will trigger a few memories for her…_   
_Oh God. Oh God. There are bodies everywhere._

Corpses were flopping with the movement of the water with various grievous wounds decorating their bodies. Some had small knives still in the body, some had marks round their necks and other looked like something had come out from their stomach. It was horrific.

“So, I see you’ve discovered the truth.”

Recoiling in horror I fall over, peering at the grinning cat.

“H-How can you j-jus sit there smiling? Look at this! It’s awful!”

He shook his head, “This is only part of his madness. Wonderland is Alex’s thoughts. It’s controlled and created based upon those thoughts and the emotions linked to them. Those people he has thought about killing before, hence where there are repeats of the same body but murdered in different ways.”

“So…They’re not really dead?”

“No, not yet anyway.”

“How can you say this all so calmly?”

“Because in order to beat this you have to think logically. In a world of chaos you must be the order than controls it. So in this world of emotional turmoil and madness, you have to be the logic and stability. No matter what Y/N, you cannot give in.”

“Why tell me all of this?”

“I’ve always been a fan of being on the winning side or at least the most entertaining.” He began to disappear, his grin the only thing remaining, “Head East and you’ll eventually stumble across the Duchess. Good luck.” His smile vanished into thin air and I was left all alone.  
 _The look of horror on her face is so exciting. A pity she couldn’t remember the various bullies at the doctor’s office. Or recall the Doctor himself because his body must be in that river so many times it’s hard to keep count. Or remember her parents, the ones who put her in the orphanage because of…that. Well, I’ll be able to convince her to be mine. One way or another. She won’t escape. She’s been gone from my side for far too long._

__  
_He said East. Should I trust him? I have to get out of here. East it is then._

_Hopefully I’ve made the right decision…_


	5. Chapter 4

The trek to the East has been very long and tiring however I have now reached a collection of trees. In between the trees is a small run-down house with a large chimney that is billowing out think black clouds of smoke that was spreading out into the surrounding area smelling surprisingly of black pepper.

As I walk closer to the house I can hear the screams of a woman commanding someone to 'hurry up' and the heavy chopping along with the occasional oinking and squealing from what must be pigs.

_How very curious._

When I reach the door I knock. However, once I have done so all the sounds have stopped.

_Curiouser and curiouser._

I open the door slightly, peeking my head around it to see inside.

It's so hard to see with the density of the black pepper clouding the air.

A voice echoes out in the darkness, "Finally someone to help. Do you know how hard it is to find good service nowadays? Even for a Duchess it's rather hard to find good help, which is ridiculous. Maybe it is because of my reputation...Oh well girl, hurry up!"

_This pepper is really bothering me._

**A-CHOO!**

The woman sighs and I can hear footsteps walking away from me before I can hear the bang of a window.

The smoke starts to drift out of the room and I can now see the large woman dressed in regal burgundy and white clothing towering over me holding a pepper grinder that matches her size.

"Well girl? Have you come here to help?"

"Actually madam-"

"I am a DUCHESS! You will address me as such girl."

"Of course your grace. I was sent here by a cat actu-"

"A cat, you say? I know of whom you speak. I used to own him before he ran away. He probably thought I was intending to eat him."

"Why would he think that?" I ask nervously.

The Duchess put the pepper grinder onto the table that was also her size before turning back to me, "I used to eat human flesh, it's so succulent and has a lot of flesh without a lot of fat. But I was considering eating the cat, if it had eaten more that is. However recently I have changed to Pig meat. It is practically the same thing but it's supplied more and easier to clean up. I would not have to clean it up if I had a maid. Anyway, I need your help girl."

"Whatever for?"

"You are too much like that Alex before he became King and murd... Nevermind, I need you to go find a pig snout. It is almost my dinner and if I do not have that snout, I may have to resort to my old ways..." She trails off with a smirk.

"Your grace, I will help you but I need something in return."

"Is serving me not enough?"

"It is but I need help hence why I was sent to you. Your Grace, may I have a favour in exchange for helping you?"

She hums before nodding her head slightly, "Yes, that is agreeable. Now before you go, here is a pepper grinder." From the windowsill she takes a smaller version of her own pepper grinder, "Use this to wear the snout down and destroy any enemies you find on your way. Now go, you have before nightfall."

"Yes your grace." I then took the pepper grinder and left in a hurry.  
"Your grace, I have received your-"

_Oh Lord, she's dead._

Her body was laying in pieces on the floor being devoured by pigs. The kitchen was a mess, the remnants of the pepper grinder laying around her body life flowers on a grave.

"I see he's started on a spree. A pity, she would of been helpful. Oh well, the gift she planned to give you is by the back door."

The cat had returned. I couldn't respond because of the shock of seeing her body laying in front of these pigs like a meal in the trough.

I walked to the back door, hearing the Cheshire Cat purr behind me. At the back door was a small satchel filled with some meat, a small knife, packets of black pepper, a pig skin filled with a liquid and a few items of simple clothing. A generous gift and the last she would ever give.

_So why was she killed?_

"We should leave, I have a feeling he has been watching you for a while. "

"Are you going to leave me this time?"

"Not yet. Now follow me."

So off we went.


	6. Chapter Five

"Did you know why she was...well how she ended up the way she did?"

"Of course."

"Are you going to tell me?"

"I could."

"You are not being very helpful you know."

"But you know I can be."

_The cat has been speaking in riddles for what seems like forever. I cannot recognise anything in my surroundings because it looks like the forest we have just walked through multiple times over._

"I am walking you to a cliff face. From there you will head up or down depending on the riddles you'll find along the way. Be truthful because this land works through his knowledge and you will be punished if you don't answer correctly."

"Please I am scared enough already. Don't put me on edge."

The cat began laughing before disappearing, "If you were not on edge there would not be enough space to breathe." With that he vanished leaving me alone in the ever growing darkness of afternoon.

_No time like the present._

I took a step forwards waiting for something whether it is the cat or something else. Simply because I can't shake the feeling of being watched...  
 _She's doing well, I'll give her that. Although she hasn't been doing it alone. I'm growing tired of this._

"HARE!"

The March Hare bounded towards me, kneeling before me. His un-oiled joints creaked in protest as he awaited my orders shaking in his stance.

I smirked, "Hare you will set up your tea party the opposite end of the trail, your marked spot, correct? When you are there, convince the next human girl who comes along to stay and join the party. Keep her there for as long as you can. By any means necessary. Now go." With my order he stood up, bobbed his head in a bow and fled.

I sighed whilst leaning to the side of my throne.

 _She's bound to end up at the March Hare's and not Hatter's because I know her too well. Soon, Y/N, we will be together just like we always planned._  
"This cliff is dangerous. Why am I doing this again?" I muttered, clinging for dear life to the side of the cliff. The air was brutally, whipping harshly against my skin, almost tearing it to ribbons. My dress' hem must of been ruined due to the sharp rocks and edges that poked out of the side. The rocks were harsh and bit into my hands.

The only thing I had to look towards was the obvious sign hanging over a long part of the cliff face. Thank the Lord this was my last question.

I pulled myself up, feeling the breath in my lungs get thinner and the air around me begin to chill my bones, freezing my skin.

Rolling over I inhale the air available, gulping it down greedily.

_Time to answer the last question._

I stand up and then picked up the sign that has the question inside it.

I open it, before muttering the writing on the paper to myself, "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

_What? This is ridiculous. But I suppose I must answer to be told where to go?_   
_That last question, no matter what she had said before would of sent her to the March Hare. When we were children I always asked her the same question every time before she needed to see Dr Bumby; the cad._

_She always answered; They are not similar at all._

_It's impossible for her to answer differently, is it not?_   
_Finally I am at the top._

The air is extremely thin but at least I am here. Well, wherever here is.

Around me there are multiple oil spills, train tracks leading off the edge of the cliff and crumbling mechanical structures emblazoned with rust and wear. The tunnel I had just been through was dark and smelt of iron and something else that made me shiver in disgust.

Yet here there were multiple sets of tea pots and tea cups with cracks. Out of those cracks came tiny humanoids with green skin, large noses, basic uniforms and crockery hats.

It would be hard to navigate round the possibly dangerous workers towards the platform I can see from here.

As I look at my prospects for getting across safely I wonder one thing, _If I had answered differently than 'they both have feathers', would I have been on an easier path?_


	7. Chapter 6

_This place is really creepy._

It was easy to get past the workers, they were all too busy looking at the projects they were working on or walking over to their tools. Any time I had walked in front of them, their eyes glazed over and they pushed past me as if I wasn't there.

I had blown on the horn multiple times but nothing had arrived yet although the ground had shook every time I had done so.

In the distance there was a large shape traveling down the wire.

_Is that...a teapot?_

When it arrived I took in the site of it properly. It was a large teapot made of various sheets of metal with glass at the front of it.

The front of it opened and I stepped in pulling the hem of my skirt up as I stepped in. The inside of it had a logo of a top hat with the title 'Hatter Industries'.

_Then this domain must be theirs...Maybe they have the answers I need..._

The world around me was dark and full of fog but I could still see floating islands filled with tall towers glowing like embers.

"Last time I was in this domain with a human the human crash landed because they were attacked."

"Hello Mr. Cat. Nice to see you again."

His ever present grin seemed to turn into a smirk, "You don't need to call me mister Y/N although it is nice to hear it. Nice to see you as well."

"Mr Cat?"

"Yes?"

"Would it be possible to ask you a question?"

He nodded and then said, "You just did but go on."

I sighed, "Where are we going?"

"That is unimportant right now. You'll know when we get there. I suggest you get some rest before we get there otherwise you'll regret it."

"Alright, thank you," I then cautiously laid down using my arm as a rest, "By the way, I have a request Mr. Cat."

"Yes?"

"Please watch over me whilst I sleep, I know it sounds silly but you are the only person that has looked after me so I trust you."

I then close my eyes and start to drift off, the exhaustion driving me to sleep rapidly.

Unbeknownst to me the Cat had stayed.

 _No wonder he's so obsessed._  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT SHE'S NOT HERE?"

"Um, sire, we mean that she is not-" The Hare answered.

"I KNOW THAT! BUT WHY?"

"W-We don't know sire b-but she n-never arrived," Stuttered the Dormouse.

"IDIOTS! You both know what happens when people stand in my way of getting things."

The two creatures gulped dreading their inevitable fates.  
The sound of multiple clocks chiming awoke me and so I sat up abruptly.

Around me I could see multiple workers much like before weaving around the large cogs, clocks and numerous metal structures littered around the room.

"Glad you are awake Y/N now come let's go."

I stand up and follow the cat which takes a few steps before pointing to a hole in the floor, "Down there you will find all the answers you seek before you meet the Hatter himself."

I hesitate staring down into the deep dark pit, "Is this the only way?"

"Trust me girl."

_I do. He's the only one who has been truthful with me and has taken care of me...So what choice do I have?_

Stepping forward I let my body drop down whilst the air rips past me.

Deeper and deeper I fall waiting for the ground to meet me...


	8. Chapter 7

I have been walking for a while and this walk is torture. I'm in pure darkness but the only sign that I need to go forward is the occasional glimmer of light that shows the direction I need to go which is always forward.

There is nothing but myself and the darkness surrounding me until I see a ghostly apparition of a little girl running towards me.

"Little girl! Hello! Excuse me?" I shout trying to get her attention.

But she runs straight past me giggling, looking past herself to look at something that is following her yet I can not see.

_What was she looking at?_

It's only when I turn around that I realise that the little girl...is me.

There is no doubt about it. She has shorter hair but it's the same colour as mine, her eyes are the same colour with a childish innocence to them and a glimmer of happiness. She's grinning and I can not recall a time I have ever seen myself look that happy.

All in all the younger version of myself looks like a normal child.

All of a sudden, a cold burst runs through me, taking the form of another child; a little boy. Another girl who is older than both children follows him as well.

These two I recognise because the younger boy...looks like the man I met in that cell. The boy is dressed in finer clothes, indicating a higher status than my younger self. He seems to be enjoying himself whilst the older girl is chasing after the two young children with a look of worry upon her face.

I vaguely recognise her and her voice which I can now faintly hear calling after them is familiar.

"Y/N, Alexander, please slow down! Mother and father need us back home after the interns have gone! Wait!"

The three children run off into the distance, the light of their visages fading into nothing.

**You were happy then Y/N before...**

_A voice in my head?_

**No, I am simply the voice of this place.**

_Why am I not surprised? This place truly is filled with wonder and madness. So what exactly is this place?_

**This place is a road. We shall call it Memory Lane because it's true name has been lost with time.**

_Memory lane? But I can hardly remember anything beyond my last few visits with doctor Bumby._

**Exactly. You can not remember but we can. So, until you know the truth you will be here, haunted by a life just out of reach.**

_But why?_

I receive no answer through another line of dialogue, I am shown some more apparitions.

The girl from before is alone with a slightly older version of my young self only this time they seem to be stood together and tittering to themselves further away from me.

Walking towards them I can hear them tittering between each other.

"Can you believe your father invited me?"

"No but can you believe that my brother missed this event to celebrate father's work?"

"You know why he is missing Lizzie."

The older girl sighs, "Never mind but look over there." She points discreetly to her right.

I stop next to the two and look at where the two point. Standing alone with a glass in his hand is Dr. Bumby himself.

_Why is Bumby there?_

Lizzie giggles, "He is a strange one. He brought me flowers from our garden. Can you believe that? He even tried to pass them off as if he had bought them. Then he asked father for my hand in marriage. Naturally, he refused but has still kept him on as an intern. Honestly that Angus Bumby is trouble, you mark my words. Luckily it seems my brother has marked you as his my girl."

The younger version of me squirms away and whines in protest.

I can feel the heat from Dr Bumby's gaze staring intensely at Lizzie with eyes like a predator stalking their prey.

**See, you should never of trusted Bumby. I would never trust him and neither should you.**

_I? Wait a minute, you were referring to yourself as 'we' just a minute ago and you are sounding very biased. I'm starting to distrust you._

The voice did not reply.

The apparition disappeared once more and I closed my eyes.

_How can I recognise something if I am only seeing people I vaguely recognise or remember from a different time?_

I am starting to sweat and I can feel myself getting hotter very quickly.

Very quickly.

I open my eyes and I am met with nothing but the sight of snow upon the ground and a dark forest. Behind me I can hear screams and the roar of...fire.

I turn abruptly and I am met with the sight of a grand house on fire. One of the windows is opened on the upper floor and a body falls out.

Is that... Lizzie?

I rush forwards and I can see clearly it truly is Lizzie although she is hurt badly. Her throat has large hand shaped bruises and the skirt of the night gown she is wearing has a large blood stain on it. Her chest is heaving and I know I can't help her instinctively. This is a vision of a past I can not remember and I hope that I never do.

Her eyes gaze unseeingly into the air and her chest stills with her final breath.

_That poor girl what kind of monster could of done this?_

The front door of the house opens and from it I can see...Bumby?

He runs off into the woods, running past where I stand with Lizzie.

_Why was he in the house?_

_Why is Lizzie like this?_

_Was he the one that did this to Lizzie?_

_Did he...start the fire?_

I feel sick at the thought of the possibility. How could the man who had treated me with such patience and kindness have done such horrible things?

The screaming continues but it's getting closer. The next person through the front door is the little boy holding the hand of a girl clasping onto a small stuffed white rabbit; both of them clothed in ash covered night clothes.

The young girl is once again me but I have this horrible look in my eye, almost as if I had seen how the fire started.

_Did I start the fire? Is this all my fault? Was Bumby's appearance a coincidence?_

**No. You are not to blame.**

I can not even comprehend the voice's words as I watch the two children sit in the snow, holding each other closely. Fear in their eyes as they watch their home burn down.

The boy is rocking himself and the girl back and forth and as I tread closer to the traumatised pair I can hear him whisper, "It's all my fault," repeatedly whilst the girl seems to not hear.

The scene is one of the most haunting sights I may ever see and I can not pick which is worse; the mutilated body of Lizzie, the home on fire, the possible evil of a man I knew and trusted or the two children who I watched lose their innocence.

The vision started to fade as a swarm of people burst through the forest into the clearing, running towards the children.

I was once again met with the darkness of Memory Lane.

_Why are you showing me this? Is it to make me change?_

**No.**

_Then why? Why show me a horrific sight, do you wish to inflict pain upon me?_

**No.**

_No? Is that the only word you know now? Help me understand my purpose here! Explain these apparitions and visions that seem to be designed to torment me with a past I do not know and the pain and sorrow of people I vaguely recognise._

There was no response once more but the next apparition was not as solid as the last.

I can see myself being held to the bodice of a large woman in revealing clothing whilst the young boy is dragged away by two men in white into a dirty white van screaming, a hand outstretched to my younger self.

I can feel the longing in his screams, much more harsh and hoarse than the ones I heard in the last scene; filled with more anguish and loss.

My younger self is dressed in black with tears running down her face and the woman holding her is cooing at her to comfort and reassure.

The vision disappears as soon as it came.

**You were separated from him. Perhaps that is why he did what he did and became what he became.**

I can not focus on the cryptic words because another sensation compels me to close my eyes. It's cold and wet. Almost as if ice is being dragged down my skin and pushed through my pores.

When I open my eyes, I can see myself looking closer to my own age wearing a multi petticoat-ed dress with long black stockings sitting behind a counter in the lobby of a...brothel?

The air is pungent with heavy smoke and the smell of salt and incense. Many scantily clad women sit upon the laps of multiple men, moaning wantonly.

In front of me stood the women from before and she was whispering harshly to the younger version of me, "Y/N, he has been let out of the asylum."

"No. Surely you are mistaken!"

"Keep your voice down girl."

"Yes auntie."

"He is being put into lodgings with a good doctor near here."

"Near the docks?"

"Nearer the city."

The two began to speak of trivial location details before the older woman spoke up, "Y/N I recommend you don't go look for him jus' yet. He could be dangerous."

_Who is dangerous? That boy... Alex from before?_

Once again the scene faded into darkness as the madam walked away from a disappointed version of my younger self.

**You should not of listened to her but ah well, the two of you have been reunited.**

_So that is why the man I met was a maniac?_

**A maniac?**

_He locked me up._

**Never mind. Congratulations, you are on your final apparition.**

The two figures that appeared were the maniac Alex and the possible monster; Dr. Bumby.

Alex was laying down on a the lounge chair and speaking to Dr. Bumby about...

**He only ever spoke about three things: the fire, Wonderland and Y/N L/N; you.**

_But why?_

**Listen.**

So I did and what I heard could make even the strongest stomach turn.

"I miss her, she shouldn't be keeping her from me."

"And why is that?"

"Because Y/N L/N is the only thing that I need, she needs me. **She's mine."**

Those last words were not said by the boy but by the voice as well.

**Figured it out yet darling?**

Of course this entire room has been a trap.

Memory Lane is not my memories but false fabrications designed to torment me and imprison me.

**That is not it at all.**

_I am not listening to this or you. You have lied to me._

**No, wait.**

_NO! I should have known all along because you truly are a maniac!_

**Don't do this my darling, you will not like the results.**

_Or what? You have no power over me._

I could hear a dark chuckle and the malicious tone behind it made me shiver in fear.

**True; not over you at least. However, what about the people on your journey?**

_...What do you mean?_

**It was not me that killed the Duchess but I wish I had.**

_Then who did?_

There was no reply and no apparitions appeared in there place. I am alone in the darkness once more not that I wish to have the company of that vile maniacal villain. I would rather be alone but to be alone in this place which is under the control of that disgusting man.

_So why can I not have answers?_

_Who really killed the Duchess if not him?_

With that thought I feel the ground fall from under my feet and I am once again falling.


	9. Chapter 8

The room is once again bathed in light and filled with clocks, cogs and metallic structures. Only this time, there are two people with me. The Cheshire Cat and a talky, lanky green man wearing a strait jacket and a ragged, checkered top hat.

I push myself up into a standing position but I regret it instantly. My head feels like it has been submerged in water.

"Y/N, how purrfect of you to join us at such a time. This is the Hatter. I shall leave you in his care," the cat once more disappeared leaving me to gawk at the odd looking man.

"Um, hello Mr Hatter. I am-"

"Y/N L/N I know how delightful for such a delinquent to desist her adventure in a dark dream filled land."

_Brilliant. Another mad man._

"Mr Hatter the Cheshire Cat told me you could help with my memories." I state hoping he took the lead and started a conversation.

"Ah yes but forgetting is just forgetting, except when it's not. Then they call it something else. I would like to forget all that he did. I've tried but I can't. You're lucky in that way Miss."

_Then they call it something else? So I didn't just forget, something caused me to forget. But what?_

I think back to the 'he' the Hatter mentioned, "Do you mean Ale-"

"DON'T SAY HIS NAME!" The Hatter shrieks, hiding his face in his hands.

"...Alright," I reply hesitantly and inquire, "Mr Hatter, what do you know about a place called Memory Lane?"

The Hatter stills in his movements immediately. He did it so quickly that it appears as if he had been frozen and not just in fear.

_What could be so bad about Memory Lane that the Hatter himself freezes in terror? I hate the place but only because I was tricked by that evil scum of the earth. So why has Hatter reacted this way?_

The Hatter twitches just then, looking at a gap in the wall and then grabs onto me. I gasp in shock but before I can ask what he thinks he is doing, he has leapt up through the ceiling of the building and bounds towards a larger factory with large chimneys pumping out billowing smoke. He breaks through the wall of it and upon landing gracefully on the floor, he drops me unceremoniously on my behind.

"OW!"

The Hatter bends down to my height, "Quickly, you have to run!"

"Run?"

"Yes! Go! Find the Caterpillar! He'll guide you to where you to need to go. Goodbye Y/N! Take care!" With that he leapt out of the window and bounded towards what looked like a row of airships.

_Please don't die Hatter._


	10. Chapter 9

_Oh God. Oh God. There's more of them._

Just outside the Hatter's factory multiple bodies were laid on the sheets of metal in horrible condition. Some were battered with signs of heavy internal bleeding whilst others were mutilated beyond recognition. In between the bodies I could see the corpses of a white rabbit, a woman wearing decadent red clothing and a caterpillar with wings that had been ripped off partially.

_This is awful. Who or what could of done this?_

There is so much blood that every time I walk forwards to avoid a puddle I step in more.

_Oh God. Oh God. This is awful._

I can see dark spots in my vision but I don't feel woozy.

**I did this all for you.**

_No. Please not you._

**This is all your fault. You are so temptingly innocent, like a garden of white roses that I can corrupt with colour. I see you don't like the red paint. Pity. I thought you would of appreciated my gift; I have shown you that I can protect you.**

_Stop._ I grab onto my head, digging my fingers into my scalp. _Stop this please. I haven't done anything to you?_

**To me? No. Not directly anyway. But you talked to some of these people. Such as the Hatter. Poor stupid Hatter. I warned him after he killed the Duchess that you wouldn't be happy with him but Hatter wanted a guest for his tea party.**

_The Hatter...killed the Duchess?_

**Yes, it's all rather sordid.**

I can hear footsteps creeping up behind me and the squish of blood whilst something pops.

_The Hatter killed the Duchess because she had eaten most of his guests that had come through here whilst the Walrus ate anyone who the Carpenter tricked away from the Hatter but that is another story. The death of the Duchess would of been blamed on the Cat by the Hatter so you would only be with him. You're lucky I am here._

_So who killed the others?_

I heard no answer as the footsteps grew closer.

Was it you?

**It was probably the Hatter once more. Don't worry any more, I'm here to protect you. I'll even help you regain your memories.**

Arms reach around my waist and pull me close.

**"I'm so glad that you are with me again. I promise that you will never feel sad again."**

_I hope so._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who misunderstands the mention of 'my gift' it is an inference the Hatter's murder being paraded in front of Y/N as a visage.


	11. Epilogue

_Of course I lied to her. For a good cause; keeping her by my side._

_Does that make me despicable? No, not really. Any hot-blooded Englishman would do any thing to keep their true love by their side._

_I am the monster she thought I was but I did it all for her._

_Killing the Duchess was needed because although Y/N would never get to stay close that whore got to close to lying about me to my darling. Also her death was useful, she fed her children just like any mother should. Y/N will one day feed our children but not like the Duchess had to. She got what was coming to her after all that she had done._

_The Red Queen had to be killed because she would of got in the way._

_The Hatter's demise was his own invention; I hardly had a hand in it. His own inventions ground him up when a leg got caught between the cogs as he ran away like the coward he is._

_The others were merely a security measure. They knew too much and if my darling ever escaped into the world she could get hurt or worse: try to leave._

_I couldn't kill that Cat, he will make a nice pet for our children in the future. Or a quick meal for the rabid beats such as the Walrus. He couldn't possibly be a companion for Y/N because I am the only one she needs besides any family we have after the hard work involved in making that family which I will enjoy._

_We'll become more intimate when she loves me. Even if I have to force her into her affections she will comply accordingly. I would hate to punish her and be rough...well, unless she begged me to be._

_Even now though she shies away from my grip she doesn't get far before I pull her back, wrapping her in my embrace like a Boa Constrictor._

_My darling won't ever get away because she won't get to have an awakening; an escape from Wonderland._

_For her, I would lie, steal and murder. For her I would even hurt her because it's all worth it in the end. She will stay by my side._

_Forever._


End file.
